The Lady Gardener
Let’s talk about lady gardening today and I don’t mean a potter around the garden- weeding and planting roses, I’m talking about the topiary and up-keep of your precious lady bits. I promise I wont beat about the bush with giving you as much information as you’d expect from Alan Titchmarsh.
I appreciate this is not for everyone, many are perfectly happy with at home pruning, or some none at all… the 70’s rocked after all, however, I personally want to avoid calling in the tree surgeons because I was just too afraid to pull off that shop bought waxing strip.
So, getting a wax in Norwich…as Spruce House treatment tester, I booked in for a ‘Hollywood’ for those of you not sure what this is then it’s a ‘best just get rid of anything remotely garden-esque’ approach to waxing.
I won’t lie, despite my best at home pruning, the situation was getting Amazonian and needed a professional to take charge (I had recently had a baby and grooming had gone (albeit temporarily) out of the shed window)
What do you need to know:
Please don’t get your knickers in a twist, at Spruce House they’ve seen it all before and in every form: from jungle to very small allotment.. all they are concerned about it getting the treatment done to your satisfaction.
Your therapist (from here known as the lady gardener) will give you instructions so no need to worry about knowing if you need to remain in pants or not (depending on the type of treatment you choose) and you’ll be offered the appropriate items to have a freshen up…so you don’t have to worry if you’ve come from a full day at work and haven’t had the opportunity to shower… (sorry TMI?)
Once you’re comfy on the bed your therapist will dab a bit of oil on (helps to alleviate any potential pain) check the temperature of the Lycon wax (this stuff is amazing) and pop it directly to your skin, it feels nice and warm and don’t worry it goes on bit by bit, not the whole lot in one go, no one would survive that!
If you’re going full Hollywood (no, nothing to do with The Great British Bake Off) then comes the ‘intimate’ bit… the ‘tail’ as Spruce House like to delicately name it. You pop your legs in the air for access… holding a towel under your thighs and lifting helps them access the errr…. trickier parts.
Ladies, I am not messing about if you are currently getting waxed with strips in Norwich stop IMMEDIATELY and book in at Spruce House. They use Lycon wax, they are quick, efficient and my goodness the pain was minimal.
I’ve gone for the extreme of the topiary options but there are many, many options to suit your gardening style and don’t be embarrassed to call and have a chat if you’re unsure.
Over and Waxed,
Spruce House Treatment Tester xx